SephiChan
by SephiChan
Summary: Hojo has succeeded in creating a bizzare new clone... After escaping from Shinra, she strives to discover herself, and manages to unlock many of the secrets kept from her.
1. Chapter 1 Prologue

Whew. I've been meaning to get this up for ages.  
This story takes place two years prior to the events in Final Fantasy VII, and all the conditions are the same but one--Sephiroth hadn't died those five years ago in the Mt. Nibel Reactor. This fic explores what could have been, an introduces a very unlikely character...  
The total fan fiction is 26 pages long on MS Word, so I don't know if I will be able to post every chapter on here.  
  
Oh, another thing. Don't critique me telling me my grammar and stuff is incorrect. Writing is an art form, and it's what I do best... in thus, it's okay to break some rules the way I have. And, I've had the fic edited extensivly by a friend.  
Don't let me offend you with that. If there are any spelling errors, or just any wording that's difficult to understand, review and let me know. I'll be very grateful to you!  
  
Lastly. This fic is my baby! ^^;; I'm very happy with it, and will be entering it in a convention fan fic contest very soon. Just want people to know how important it is to me that my work is not copied in any way... Thanks.  
  
Now, on to the fic. Enjoy!  
  
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*Who am I?* Is this something you often ask yourself...? If you're adopted, it's understandable. Even if you lead a perfectly normal life, it's understandable to ask this every now and then. We all wonder. But then again, what if there's no answer? What if you weren't yourself at all, but a slave to a mind not your own…?  
  
What I'm getting at is hard to explain. I'm a twenty-five year old, or so they told me at Shinra. Only, at that time I remembered very little of life... the last two weeks, actually. They told me up-front that I am a clone of someone I hadn't even met, and that I was made for a specific mission. What a trip. I don't even get a free mind with the deal, I guess. All I am is a body, and a preformatted mind. It really tears you up sometimes.  
  
I knew I couldn't stay there any longer. At Shinra, I mean. Hojo was my "father"... the one who created me. But I couldn't stand him. Now I know why he and his son are on such horrid terms.  
  
Anyway, this is my story. A twisted tale of tragedy and sorrow, of sanity and insanity, and what it really means to be unique. What a joke.  
  
-----  
  
I remember that solid night like it was yesterday. Hojo had been sure to lock up my containment cylinder as usual, worried that I might pull something to try and get out of there. He was pretty smart. I would've torn his throat out the first chance I got. The man was crazy.  
  
My space was pretty limited in the cell. It was like a cold, cramped prison cell. I felt like an animal in the zoo; my cell was right across from some kind of strange wolf-beast, and next to a chimera-looking creature. Ridiculous. I had to get out.  
  
Standing up and letting the soles of my boots touch the floor, I put my hands to the glass pane before me. It had to have been about an inch thick. There was no way to break it. However, I had another idea. There was a noise the chimera near me absolutely *despised*. Grinning, I glanced to his cylinder and put my foot flat against the glass. Slowly sliding it downwards, the one-inch heel screamed against the glass something terrible. Chimera was immediately awake, and two of his heads began to growl.  
  
Repeating my motions several times, I got quite a show out of the beast. It wasn't long before he was rearing, all three heads crying out, and his claws slashing at everything. I loved his strength. Bucking, he pounded the glass forcefully many times, and it finally shattered, sending the whole front of the cell smashing to the ground, and setting off the alarm. That's when I stopped making the noise. Chimera was enraged enough to raise the dead, and he rampaged, ripping up everything he could in the lab.  
  
Then, a squad of SOLDIERs busted through the nearest door, followed by Reeve, a very humble executive of Shinra. He commanded the squad, which went right for Hojo's specimen, and began to subdue it. Then, he saw that I was awake, and approached my cell.  
  
"You're lucky you're safe, 23. That *animal* was right next to you." I could hear him because the cylinder was very tall, and at the top there were tiny holes all in it that allowed for communication. Reeve had spoken with me before, and was intellectual. I assume he found me the same way.  
  
I pressed my fingertips to the glass, but still stood as far from the pane as I could. "Reeve, do I look like an animal to you...? This is inhumane." The man looked shiftily to the ground. I smiled at his reaction, trying to seduce him to my will. "Oh come on. The squad is busy, and the chimera ruined all the video camera equipment in here. No one would know it if you let me free. I promise you won't regret it." I pleaded with my expression, looking at him even though his eyes were averted.  
  
It was a while the executive stood there. He did have authority over Hojo and could release me if he so desired. It wouldn't exactly be a stupid mistake because my brain wasn't that of a beast, but a human, even if it wasn't all my own.  
  
Saying no more words, after a couple minutes Reeve took out his key card and slipped it in a fluid motion through the scanner on the glass door. It beeped red, then the cell's door slid to the side. I was overcome with victorious joy.  
  
"Reeve, you're a sweetheart." Taking his chin in my hand, I smiled at his uneasy face. "You really are. And for that, you shall be sparred, but I can't say the same about your comrades here in Shinra."  
  
Without another word, I released my grip and ran. I just ran. Fast, and hard, down the hall. I'd have to be careful to escape. And surely, Reeve wouldn't want me to kill anyone... but that was beyond the poor man's power. 


	2. Chapter 2

Now I'm getting somewhere in the story.  
Events are a little slow in this chapter, and the next one or two. However, they wouldn't be here if they weren't important, so if the story initially interested you, I would urge you to continue reading.  
It will pick up and not slow down very soon. ^_^  
  
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My mind burned with the painful desperation of finding my target. I knew only one thing in my life--my mission. And that was to kill the one I was cloned from. Indeed, it was a twisted idea, but Hojo had assumed that if I thought just like his son, I could easily find him; a task that Shinra was having trouble with on its own.  
  
As much as I did not want to work for the sick man who'd created me, I knew nothing else of life. I hadn't experienced much emotion, like hatred, love, or sorrow. I felt like a puppet... and Hojo was tugging on my strings. I despised Shinra with every ounce of my being. That must've been the only real feeling I knew I'd felt-bitter anger.  
  
But I had been told, by the laboratory man himself, that I was the first successful clone of his son. The first successful one...? What had happened to the others? The thought made me itch with curiosity. How did he know I was truly a success? Couldn't I turn out just like the others...? And why on earth would he make a female clone of his son? All of this worried me, and drove my hatred even deeper.  
  
Thinking on all of this, I found myself wandering around outside of Midgar. The only path I had to follow was my conscious link between my prey and I. Of course, I couldn't actually sense him or anything, but putting myself in his position, I knew exactly where I would go... which would be the same place he would go.  
  
A small town came to mind. I saw a water tower, and several cozy houses. On the far end, away from most of the buildings, there was an old mansion. This was all my vision showed me. But how did I know this place? I had memories in my head that weren't created by myself; memories that exited before my creation. Suddenly my feet, as if being the only part of me to remember this strange place, began taking my body in a different direction. I was headed for Nibelheim.  
  
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Of course, there were many things barring a straight path to the city I desired to reach. It was far to the west, on another continent, at that. I would have to take a ship to the port city of Costa Del Sol. I knew it shouldn't' be difficult to do, even though I would have to travel through Junon to get there.  
  
Already taken care of, my feet had taken me as far as Junon without being caught. I was sure Shinra knew where I was going, but would they stop me? It was true I had escaped illegally from the laboratory, but I was still going after my target, after all. The question rebounded in my mind throughout the course of my trip, and it bothered me not knowing the course of action the corporation was taking.  
  
In any case, I had reached Junon. Wandering about the city, unarmed and unequipped, I stumbled upon some stores. Utterly lacking money and anything to sustain me through the adventure I would undertake, I stopped at a supply store and demanded that I be provided with packaged food and water. The man working simply laughed at me when I told him I would spare his life. The fool he was refused to give up any of his precious stock to me. In response to his refusal, I easily choked him to death. My strength was far superior to his, and my victory came at no price. I then helped myself to his supply room and went on my way.  
  
Getting aboard a ship was a little more difficult. I had to sneak on board through a cargo door, and was forced to kill a couple guards on my way. It was a rather displeasing way to board, but it was the best I could do. Hiding out in the cargo room, I stayed in my place the entire trip. I was unarmed, and wouldn't be able to take on the large amount of Shinra guards aboard. It would be much too risky.  
  
At the destination, Costa Del Sol, I disembarked quickly and lost myself in the town. Scurrying away was all I could do, as Shinra would surely pursue me if they had caught me. Finally, I was free, and one step closer to my target. 


	3. Chapter 3

Again, this chapter is a little slow. I ask for your paitience... this is also a short chapter.  
^_^ I should remind you, all feedback is greatly appreciated! Please, review and say what you think about the story.  
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Days had passed. I had seen many places, many people, all so foreign to me. But somehow, there lingered a faint knowledge of it all in the confines of my mind, and I ached to know more... If only the buried memories would awaken inside of me, then perhaps I could fully understand the world around me. But I was only a newborn; I was three weeks old, with little common knowledge and feeling, but plenty of sense.  
  
My travels were fairly uneventful; I slain many in my path to reach my destination, and I did not encounter Shinra at all on the way. Perhaps they were intentionally staying out of my warpath--if so, it was a clever thing, as I certainly would not have minded murdering an executive or two.  
Path traveled and journey done, I now stood in the entrance of the small, cozy town of Nibelheim. Suddenly, flames began to leap up around me, feeding off the wood of the houses around. A strange sensation pounded within me; worry in my head and the desire to run in my legs. Could this be fear? Yes, the situation made me fearful.  
  
As the town turned yellow-orange, I stood in amazement, wondering why no one rushed out of their homes. All the buildings were swallowed in angry fire now, and nobody came running, nobody cried out, nobody moved. I saw no inhabitants, and started to wonder just what was going on.  
  
Then, there was movement. Swiftly, darkness swept over me, leaving me feeling even more shaken. Now I could move. I drew a sword that I had never seen in my life but was with me, not knowing what was in store. A person materialized not far off, walking straight through the flame with no burns of anything. I gasped-it was me! ...but as a man. This was all so unexpected... I quickly pulled my sword up to fight, but the figure was on me already, and I felt an acute pain in my chest. Not believing what was happening, I peered down slowly, knowing what would be there and not wanting to see it. A glistening blade had skewered me, passing into my chest and out of my back. As I lifted my head, I saw my own face there, smiling, laughing.  
I sat up quickly, looking around. A dream. But it had been vivid, horrific. Had it truly been all in my mind? I felt myself sweating, and this newly discovered feeling of fear passed over me in a wave, and then was gone. How foolish of me. It was but a dream. Why had it frightened me so? I knew I mustn't let it bother me.  
  
I felt cold; probably a sensation that attacked a person who had such terrible thoughts run rampant through their heads while asleep. I hugged my heavy trench coat to myself, sighing. At least Hojo had given me proper clothing. However, he apparently found it amusing to dress me in what he said his son wore... or at least close to it. He was indeed a strange man.  
  
Glancing around, I made a quick record of my surroundings. Gray mountains... dull, gray dirt. I pulled myself up to my feet and brushed myself off. I must have passed out here... Looking to my left, I noticed Nibelheim, perfectly tranquil, resting not far away. That meant I was near Mount Nibel. But how had I gotten there? It was beyond my comprehension; the last thing I could recall before my disturbing dream was my approaching the city. In any case, I was there now, and I figured that I should go back to the city.  
  
On my way down the rocky slope, I began to think. (My mind was really the only thing to occupy me, and I often pondered my existence, my creation, my father, and the one whom I was cloned from.) Something unknown had brought me to this city in the first place, and so I had no idea what I was to do once I got back there.  
  
My mind ached now... and more so, my head did as well. Placing a gloved hand to my forehead, I stumbled along, feeling as though I would pass out again at any given time. It was a terrible feeling, for I had no idea what might become of me this time around.  
  
Luckily enough, I made it into the city. Of course, I meandered a bit before deciding on a course of action. I was alight with ideas now, and so I made my way to the weapons dealer.  
  
Entering the shop slowly, I looked at the fresh, yellow wood that made the walls. The store even smelled of 'new', and it placed an odd sense of distrust within me. Why was it so fresh and clean? I supposed my thoughts weren't so prominent, because I noticed a man behind the counter addressing me.  
  
He gaped at me for some reason, but spoke in a normal manner. "Can I help you? What is it you're looking for?"  
  
My face expressionless, I went to the counter, Mako eyes looking over everything I could see. "Something... unique. A sword, I'd prefer."  
  
"Ah, a swordswoman. Of course." Winking, he leaned over behind the counter, then stood back up straight and dumped a bundle of swords onto the top. Carefully untying the string that held them together, he kept his eyes on me. "So, take your pick." He waved a hand over the swords, now strewn about the countertop, then chuckled. "Rather, let your pick take you. These swords are each very magical; once they choose their owner, only that person and wield them. Very rare," he said, and I could sense the lust for money in his voice.  
  
Outstretching a hand over the table, my eyes locked onto the swords. None of them seemed particularly special to me. Then, suddenly, one of them began to glow, but with darkness, not light. It was a long masamune--probably the longest of the swords there. My eyes must've shown my interest, for the shopkeeper eagerly chimed in again. "Oh yes... that one... that's the cursed Satsu-Masamune. It is possessed by tormented demon spirits that can rip apart the very soul of a weak opponent. But it would be hard for a righteous person to handle, so I take it you're... oh, never-mind. I'll charge you 40,000 Gil."  
  
The price was ridiculous. Not that it mattered; I had no money anyway. Shaking my head, I grasped the sword about the handle. The clerk seemed irritated, but apparently didn't expect me to try what I was about to. "Care to bargain?" I inquired, grabbing the sheath of the sword with one hand and holding it before me.  
  
"Oh, sure. What do you offer?"  
  
Smirking wickedly, I tore the sword from its sheath and swung it at him in one fluid motion, slicing open his stomach. "That is my offer." His innards began to spill out, and after the man fell to the floor, choking, bleeding, I quickly tired the sheath to my waist before slipping the sword back into it. Now I was ready to carry out my mission. Hopefully, it would be swift and easy. If my target was technically myself, how could it possibly be difficult...? 


	4. Chapter 4

Well, here's another chapter. I'll have a couple more up today to establish the fic better, so read on...  
  
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Shinra mansion.  
  
There was something about it that stood out in my mind as I looked up at it through the old, metal gate. This would be where I could find my target. He was there... I knew it. Ready for a fight to the death, or whatever was to come, I kicked the gate in and marched boldly towards the door.  
  
I didn't bother knocking. It could be considered my home, too, after all. If this was where Hojo's son lived, then I had every right to go right in. I closed the door behind me and looked around. How would I be welcomed? Would he notice I was there...?  
  
Before I could even begin to formulate my own answers to such questions, my train of thought was interrupted. I had only stepped a few feet forward from the door, perhaps five, but even moving that far had been a mistake, as I came to realize. My guard had been let down too soon, and right when I noticed this, I felt an arm wrap violently around my neck from behind, and a hand grab a fistful of my hair and jerk it back.  
  
"Who are you?" a masculine voice snapped quietly near my ear.  
  
I gagged, choking, unable to breathe. His arm squeezed my neck too tightly for me to utter a reply.  
  
"Idiot." After the word was spoken, I felt my hair be released. Then, I was half-dragged across the room, arm still tight on my neck. I couldn't get any air into my lungs, and remember trying desperately to free myself, but my muscles were weak, crying out for oxygen as well. Despite my struggle and attempts for freedom, I was unable to liberate myself from his grasp. I had soon blacked out.  
  
-----  
  
Coming to consciousness, I was afraid to open my eyes. Somehow, I had begun to worry about where I would be when I awoke. Perhaps if I left my eyes shut, it wouldn't be real, I thought.  
  
Knowing I couldn't elude the fact forever, I finally forced my eyes open. Vision was blurry a bit at first, and I saw the floor; I was standing, but my head tipped down, chin on my chest. My arms, I found, bound at the wrists, the ties were secured far on either side of me. As for my feet, I could see that they were bound together, but not to anything else. What a predicament. I had become a prisoner.  
  
Slowly raising my head, I kept my expression blank, as not to expose any thoughts to the one whom had captured me. I gasped at what I saw. Leaning against a wall across from me was a man... It was me... Well, Hojo's son. Had *he* captured me then...?  
  
"Awake...?" His eyes glittered dangerously as he looked at me. I felt a mess; my throat ached from the near strangling, my hair was all about my shoulders and face, and I was overall nervous in the situation. Was there no way to escape...?  
  
"Good. Just so you know, I took the liberty of borrowing your supplies. You're absolutely helpless. But, that masamune..."  
  
"Don't touch it," I growled in spite of my sore throat. "The Satsu-Masamune. It attacks... anyone else who tries to hold it..." I was sure he could barely hear my raspy words, but he seemed very interested in what I had to say.  
  
Walking towards me, he placed a hand on the hilt, watching me all the while. I could do nothing to stop him. He went on, pulling the sword from its sheath at my side. "That was easy." He waved it in the air to the side. "Can't use it...?"  
  
I grinned. This would be the perfect chance for a mind game... which meant the possibility of escaping. "Well... only I can use it... and I am Sephiroth..."  
  
That was it. Furious, no doubt, he reeled back a fist and let it fly at my stomach. The moment seemed frozen, for I thought there would be no pain. Then, suddenly it hit me all at once, a sweeping wave of agony. Once again, I let my head fall down, gasping. I wanted to curl up, but couldn't in my position. Pain pounded through my body... he had considerable strength, just like me. I felt his leather-gloved hand clamp onto my chin and force my head up to look at him... I gave him no help-had he let go my head would've flopped back down again.  
  
"Now, listen to me," he whispered, his voice fairly calm for being angry, "this is going to become very painful for you..." Going even further and using the grip on my jaw, he shoved my head backwards, and it smacked into the wall. Instantly, my brain throbbed, my head in pain. I felt embarrassingly useless. "This will only get easy if you do as I say," he went on sternly. "Who are you?"  
  
"I... am you," I managed to choke through clenched teeth. He looked very displeased, but I would not let him abuse me further. My consciousness tapped a previously unknown region of my mind, and I heard strange echoes inside my head. I felt able to control my sword... It was a feeling beyond comprehension, but mentally straining. I watched, as I commanded in my mind, my sword flicker black in Sephiroth's hand. He looked down at it, a little startled. Before either of us knew it, a stream of the black glow, spirits, shot from the blade straight at the center of his chest. It was odd to look at; it seemed as though it was trying to seep past his skin and through his very being. Letting out a wail of pain, he threw the sword across the room, and the demons with it... they sunk back into the blade, and vanished.  
  
Sephiroth stepped back from me. "Fine. I'll see about that. You... have fun in here. You won't leave this mansion, ever again." His voice and words were brutal. Hastily he turned and strode out of the room, slamming the door behind him, and I was left to myself, hanging like a convict on a torture rack. 


	5. Chapter 5

Well, I hope some of you have stuck by the fic and read through the slow chapters. I appreciate it.  
  
This particular chapter has considerably more violence, though it's not really all that bad. Just thought I'd toss the warning out there.  
  
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Days passed. I could feel my body withering away, and I wondered if life was supposed to be so short... I didn't care if I survived this or not. I had been bound in that room for some time without any sign of food, water, or Sephiroth, at that. Did he think it would bother me? My body grew weak, but my spirit grew even stronger. However, time passed for me in and out of consciousness. It wasn't at all fun, but it was tolerable. I would show Sephiroth my strength of mind when I saw him again. I doubted for some reason that he would kill me like this.  
  
Finally, at a point where I began to drift out of consciousness, I saw the door slowly open. Tipping my head up as far as I could manage, I got my chin off my chest and watched Sephiroth enter.  
  
"You're... trying to kill me," I slurred at him, softly, but with a tinge of anger. I didn't at all feel this way, and to show it, I grinned wickedly at him. Perhaps it would throw him off.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
And so I did. What else could I do? It did take energy to speak, and I was already feeling like I could pass out at any moment. I didn't know if he had come to me to laugh... or to interrogate me. I had no idea. If I were in his position, I certainly wouldn't end the questioning yet, so I assumed I was in for more pressure.  
  
Sephiroth approached me, and it wasn't until then that I noticed a bottle in his hand. It was water! I had been lucky... maybe he wasn't there to torment me. There had to be some reason he wanted me alive, perhaps to learn about me, it was true... but from my condition, I knew he placed only little value in my life.  
  
I then watched emotionless eyes as he took a handful of hair on the back of my head and tugged it, forcing my head up. Placing the mouth of the bottle to my lips, he tipped it back and let the water rush into my mouth. It felt more like drowning than being given a drink. I swallowed all that I could, then began to choke, unable to take any more. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't get out of his grasp. It was tortuous... but I had to wait until he was done. Half of the bottle had emptied, and most of it had spilled onto my clothing and the floor rather than into my mouth.  
  
He let my hair go, and my head fell down. I coughed, spitting up the liquid that I had not been able to retain. "What... do you want...?" I managed to ask when I had finished my gagging.  
  
"Oh, excuse me. I had thought you might want a drink." He threw the bottle to the side, and I watched in despair as the water spilled out of it.  
  
"No..." Subconsciously, I jerked my binds, pulling towards the bottle as though I could reach it. The water was all over the floor now, and the bottle had drained.  
  
The impatient man before me slammed a hand flat against the wall right beside my head where my face was turned. Immediately looking back to him, I realized his growing irritation with me. It burned in his eyes... piercing mine, staring coldly at me. This made me uncomfortable; I turned my head to the other side now, my left. Again, a hand slammed against the wall in my line of view, and I had to look back at him.  
  
"Tell me the truth, now... Why do you resemble myself? I'm dying to know." The sarcasm in his voice was apparent in his last sentence. A smirk even played across his lips. This was the game again, and I had to play it to keep in the race. I couldn't possibly answer him truthfully, either. There was a certain honor that one sent as an assassin had. It would've gone against my ethics to tell him any facts.  
  
I leaned forward a bit, my face nearing his. I whispered in response, "Because... I am you. Don't you see?"  
  
"We'll see about that." He took his hands away and moved a couple steps back from me. "Where are you from?"  
  
"I wouldn't know, because I don't have a hometown..." These words seemed etched in my mind for some reason... He glared at me when he heard this. I was connecting with him now; I could feel it. I knew who he was... because I really had his mind inside my head.  
  
I thought he had given up, because he walked back towards the door. "I'll get it out of you," he told me over his shoulder. "I have a little surprise in store."  
  
With that, he left. I wasn't worried much about what he could do. The torture I had endured so far wasn't horrible, I knew, but I could more than that. However, when he returned moments later, I came to the final realization that violence knew no limits with him... for he now carried his masamune.  
  
He stood a couple feet from me, and extended the sword. Carefully moving it in the air, both he and I watched the tip. He set it against my upper left arm. "Why are you here?" His voice was dark, twisted, and I knew his mind had grown even less stable now, as I had experienced before. He was dangerous now.  
  
Still, I couldn't reveal all just because of this. "...Because I want to be."  
  
He frowned. My words weren't satisfying, and I knew it. Slowly, he pressed the tip of the blade into my skin and drew it across my arm. Glancing to the spot, I saw liquid crimson begin to run down my arm from the clean gash. It stung, but I ignored the petty pain.  
  
"Who sent you here...?"  
  
This time I kept quiet, and eventually Sephiroth realized that I wouldn't respond. Now, he drew the sword to my other arm and tore across the skin, only more swiftly. I cringed slightly; not from the hurt, but from the slow, acute torture he was dealing me. This was hellish.  
  
His eyes boiled with irritation. "Tell me something! Who you are! Why you're here! SPEAK!" he cried fiercely, now pressing the tip of the Masamune to my throat. I only remained silent for a moment, but that was long enough. Tearing the blade through the air, he slashed at my torso three times... the result was in slices, two on my chest and one on my stomach, all dripping with blood. My eyes wandered down to my wounds, and I was unable to help myself as I watched the life seep out of my body, ounces at a time. I heard Sephiroth put away his sword while I wasn't watching him. Next, before I even noticed, another liquid was being forced down my throat from a glass bottle, and I closed my eyes, not resisting. 


	6. Chapter 6

Short chapter alert! ^^;  
  
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I was getting used to being bound to the wall.... mentally, not physically; that was certain. My body was growing weak as time passed, and Sephiroth gave me little to eat and drink. Nearly every day, too, he would attempt to get answers from me, but never to any avail. It would end in violence every time-blood, punches, and the like. I began to feel so desperate that I wanted to die. If it would release me from the torture that was slowly driving me mad, I decided it wouldn't be such a bad thing. But my keeper would never stand for it. If my wounds were ever serious, he would force Potions down my throat. I began to think it was a never-ending cycle. This went on for nearly two long, twisted weeks.  
  
I suppose Sephiroth thought he finally had me. One day, he strolled into the room, hands in his pockets and a smug look on his face. "You... I know about you." I stared at him with weak eyes and a blank expression and watched him laugh darkly as he walked towards me. "Hojo's vengeful puppet. I should have guessed... how amusing."  
  
"You... knew then?"  
  
"No," he snapped. "It came to me last night while I was in the library. Of course... what a stupid trick. Only Hojo would do it." He carefully took my chin in his hand. I tried to turn my head away, but he held it firmly so that I could not. "So I'm afraid I'll have to kill you if you don't tell me what you want. You are expendable. You're just a toy. And you can easily be broken." The twisted smile he showed frightened me. I believed him now... He probably would kill me, no doubt. He knew from where I had come.  
  
"I... I am here to kill you." My answer amused him, as I knew it would. My expression grew angry and my eyes burned into his.  
  
"Oh, what a pitiful, sorry soul you are..." No sooner had he finished his words than he had leaned in, and much to my surprise, kissed me. My eyes widened with shock, and I knew that I couldn't do anything about it. He lingered there for a little while, his lips roughly massaging mine, but I refrained from responding in any sort of positive way. I merely bided there in my surprise.  
  
When he was finished, he took his hand from my chin and smacked me hard and fast across the face. The impact knocked my head to the side. My cheek stung now.  
  
"You fool. You hid it from me. You'll be punished..." Narrowing his eyes, I watched him back away before leaving.  
  
Punished? Weren't things brutal enough already? I could only imagine what could possibly happen next... 


	7. Chapter 7

This is sort of a strange chapter. A lot of dialogue and stream-of-consciousness.  
No violence or adult stuff to worry about in here, really, but there are mind games going on.  
  
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The next day, I was taken by surprise when I came to consciousness lying on the floor of my prison room. I was no longer bound to the wall; my arms and legs were entirely free. However, my supplies were still gone, and so was the Satsu-Masamune, which had been on the floor of the room for the duration of my restraint. I tried tapping the region of my mind that would allow me to command it, but nothing... I heard no echoes, not even a whisper.  
  
I pulled myself up. My body was still weak. Hurrying to the door, I leaned myself against it, chest first, and banged on the wood with open hands. I needed to know what was happening. When I heard the doorknob begin to rattle, I took several steps from the door and waited. I didn't want Sephiroth there... What had gotten into me...?  
  
Sephiroth threw the door open and walked in, carrying with him a tray holding a simple meal and a bottle of water. He carelessly dropped it upon a table then approached me. Every step he took towards me, I took backwards and away from him.  
  
"What's the matter...? Afraid of something? Afraid of... *me*?" A wicked smile came across his lips. "Don't be so nervous... you're *my* toy now. Hojo won't have you back." I found soon that my back was against the wall opposite the door and groaned under my breath. "My new pet. What shall I call you...?" His hands found mine, and he grasped my wrists. "Kurai. I like that." Moving my wrists with his hands, he held my arms up on either side of me against the wall.  
  
"But I wonder... why a female clone?" He seemed to be thinking out loud, and I barely listened to him. "Hojo must know something that I don't... it's the only explanation."  
  
His left hand briefly moved off my wrist, and I could feel him running his fingers along the tears in my shirt, gashes that had been there for several days, the result of his violent outbursts. His hand then went back around my wrist. I felt suddenly strange there, not bound but still held against the wall, and by his power. When the time came, I would retaliate... I would get him back for this, I swore to myself. "Why did you untie me? You said you'd kill me," I said bluntly. I was growing bored of his talking to himself, and I wanted some answers.  
  
Smiling, his eyes lit up with an odd inner glow. I knew this expression was not friendly at all. "Because you've become my toy... Kurai. You're *mine*. Besides, I've found that you could be very useful to me..."  
  
"So you're going to use me to bother Hojo, is that what...?"  
  
"Precisely. And he'll want you back, too. I just don't know why yet..."  
  
I was relieved when he took his hands off of my wrists and turned to leave. Crossing my arms, I slumped into a sitting position against the wall, and looked up when he addressed me again.  
  
"Tell me you won't try to leave. It would be unfortunate for you if something... were to happen in result."  
  
Before I could retaliate with words, he had left the room, and promptly locked it. Now, if only I could recall how to use my magic... perhaps I could escape the mansion. 


	8. Chapter 8

This is a fairly emotional chapter, where some questions that may have arisen before are answered.  
I'd like to add that the idea for this chapter was provided by my friend Stephko as a joke, but I thought it sounded interesting, so I worked it in. Also, this particular chapter contains what Stephko said to be one of her favorite quotes in the fic. I won't say what it is, you'll just have to read on.  
  
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I sat in the corner of the room, shrouded in darkness-the window only cast light in certain places, and I avoided it. Looking at my tattered trench coat and shirt made me sink into a morbid state of mind... I could almost see my underclothes through some of the gashes. I needed new clothing, more food and water, and my supplies... My life now revolved around Sephiroth's schedule, and I did everything when he wanted me to.  
  
I wanted to leave, badly. Maybe then I would get the chance to gather some equipment and come back to try assassinating my target. I knew in the back of my mind there was a dormant well that I could use to create magic... But I didn't know how to tap into this power, and if I tried, I had no idea what damage it might do. So, all I could do was lounge in the room and wait for the next tempest that Sephiroth would bring along into my life.  
  
My body was weak. I knew that Sephiroth had kept me in such a condition on purpose; he didn't want me to remain as powerful as he, so he did all he could to keep my body frail. An embarrassment. My strength wasn't at all what it had used to be. In any case, whether I had enough physical power or not, I needed to retaliate against my captor. I had to show him that I wouldn't be abused any longer.  
  
My mind carried on this same train of thought until about an hour later, when the man himself entered the room. He saw me in the corner, placed my food and water on the same old, rickety table, and approached me. I glared, Mako eyes glowing evilly in the darkness. I would gather power. I would NOT tolerate him anymore.  
  
"Kurai... my puppet. Get up." He held a hand out, offering it to me. I indeed stood, but ignored the gesture of aide. I wouldn't support him at all in his dominance. I then slapped the back of his hand away from me. Looking at his face, I noticed something had pushed him into his twisted state of mind, and I soon found a hand clasped about my throat. "Insubordinate... fool..."  
  
This time, I was able to fight. I lashed out with a hand as well and caught his throat in it, then applied all the pressure I could. He released me, but swept a foot into my legs with force. Caught off balance, I fell down, but refused to let go of his throat; it was the only power I had over him. I kept my grip, though it had loosened, and pulled him with me; he ended up landing on top of me when I fell, something I was sure he had done on purpose. I took my hand away from his throat so I could use it to climb up. However, that didn't seem like it would be happening. Sephiroth caught both of my hands and slammed them against the floor. I was sure he had nearly broken half of my fingers based on the crushing power of the motion, something I hadn't expected.  
  
"I told you I would punish you." The psychotic grin of his I so feared came across his face. I waited to act, but I certainly would act. "And I know why Hojo wants you... but you belong to me now." I cringed, feeling him slide the tip of his tongue mockingly over my top lip.  
  
That was it. I was done with this. I couldn't deal with the mental torment he was instilling in me, and my brain was already feeble. Thinking quickly, I head butted him hard in the forehead. It dazed him for a moment, but that was long enough for me. I used the instant to tear my hands from his, and throw him off of me, rather, push him aside and scramble to my feet. But, he was up as quickly as I was, and fully capable of attacking me now.  
  
Turning, he walked to the table where he had set the foot and drink. He picked up a book that had been resting by it. I must've not seen him bring books in, but they were there now, I noticed.  
  
"See this?!" he shouted, waving it at me. "I know now! You are more like Mother than I ever could be! So you will try to take my place once I am gone and become me...! Tell me I'm wrong."  
  
Arms at my sides, I stood ready for anything. "Perhaps." My eyes narrowed. "All I know is that I am to kill you. And I will."  
  
"You will, will you?!" Rage echoed in his voice. "You are NOT Mother! And you will NOT be me!" With these words, he hurled the book at me, full-force. I made a move to block with my arms, and it hit my right forearm, certainly bruising on impact. Before I knew it, he was throwing book after book at me. Some hit me, some didn't. As the fiasco went on, I ran right at him through the fluttering papers.  
  
"Get... OUT!" I cried at him, thrusting my hands forward. When they made contact with his chest, a cloud of gray began to whoosh from my fingertips. It was magic... I couldn't believe I had used it. My will was strong then; maybe that was what brought it on.  
  
"D-Demi..." The mist of gray seeped into him even though he tried his own magic to block it. Black particles formed around my gray, but nothing happened-he had failed to hold it back. Right after the hit, my adversary nearly collapsed to the ground. He found support against the wall then stumbled out of the room, sure to lock the door as always. "Tomorrow, Kurai... tomorrow will be the best yet!" he shouted before he hobbled down the hall.  
  
I sighed and let myself drop to the floor amidst papers that had flown out of the books. I saw formulas, numbers, symbols, notation, reports, and more. Everything was about Jenova, and experiments related to her. So that was it... I was a female clone so that I could have Mother's powers... I had inherited them through genetic engineering that Sephiroth's body had rejected. I was closer to Mother than he was, more perfect. These things, and many others I saw on the note sheets around me, were amazing.  
  
I spent that night reading through the mess of papers and learning about Mother and myself. 


	9. Chapter 9

This is certainly one of my favorite chapters in the fic.  
HOWEVER, I caution readers--there is stuff in here probablly unfit for anyone 14 or under--by this, I mean what is suggested in this chapter. The chapter is pretty deep as well, so I really think you, the reader, should think twice about reading on if any of the previous chapters (for whatever reason) disturbed you.  
  
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I had been afraid to sleep that night because I feared where I might wake up. I knew Sephiroth was going to do something to me today, and I knew he would probably begin in my sleep. Why not? I was absolutely defenseless asleep. It would be the perfect chance.  
  
Indeed, when I awoke I could feel cloth underneath me. Once again, I tried not to open my eyes, tried not to look. This wasn't good... it wasn't normal. Was I in my room? Fear pumped through my veins and made me too nervous to check and see. Finally, I knew I had to know, and I opened my eyes.  
  
It wasn't as bad as I could have imagined. I had been laid on the floor of a smaller room, and had apparently been sleeping on Sephiroth's coat. Curious thoughts of what was in store began to tumble through my mind. My body was like stone, but I somehow found the ability to move. I pushed myself onto my knees and looked around.  
  
I was now kneeling on Sephiroth's coat, and near me was his metal shoulder armor. I noticed that right to the side of me there was a big bed made up with white sheets. It obstructed my view at this level, so I had to stand, and I did.  
  
Across the small room, several feet away, stood Sephiroth. He wore his regular pants with his sheathed Masamune still on his waist, but his chest was bare aside from the leather straps he wore across it. Apparently, the only things he had taken off were his coat and armor.  
  
I simply stared at him, wondering what on earth he was planning. Then, he began to move toward me. He easily climbed over the bed and then sat on the edge of it facing me, looking up so his glowing eyes met mine.  
  
"Kurai. Today's not going to be like a normal day..." With those words alone, he stood up and stepped up so that we were separated by only a foot or two. "Today... I'll get back at Hojo. And I know just how. I can send you back to him as a threat... I won't need you after this." His unchanging expression worried me inside, and I kept a careful eye on him.  
  
"I won't-" I began, but he wasn't listening; he merely waved a finger at me, calling for silence.  
  
I was a little taken aback when he reached an arm around my waist... then he stepped behind me, arm still around me, and held me from there. His actions seemed... gentle. I was soon corrected when I felt his other hand snake into my hair and grab hold of a large section on the back of my head. He used it to pull my head back slowly, but so far back that I was scarcely able to breathe. Whispering into my ear, "We'll see what Hojo thinks," he said with a pause, then continued, "when he finds out that I've planted my seed inside of you."  
  
His words made me freeze. He couldn't be serious. The idea was absolutely illogical to me. But maybe he had some sort of plan worked out. In any case, I wasn't about to stand by and allow him to do such a thing to me. I was awake, and I would fight him with my all.  
  
But then an idea came to me. If I played along for a little while... yes, I could have my turn at revenge. All the pain he had caused me, psychologically and physically... I could take something from him as well... and my goal would be complete. If I could kill him here... well, I had no choice, really. I had to kill him here or I wouldn't be able to stand myself.  
  
I felt his lips on my neck, but hardly noticed due to my pondering. Snapping myself to attention, I decided to act, and quickly. Firstly, I needed him to let go of my hair so I could move. As much as I hated to pretend to enjoy something like this, I proceeded anyway. I slipped one of my hands to his that he had around my waist, locking fingers with it.  
  
He let go of my hair, as planned, and spun me around so that I faced him. I wasn't sure if he suspected something or not, but I guessed that he was simply trying to accomplish his own mission, and so it didn't matter. He now moved his hands to either side of my waist and shoved me against the wall, quickly following up with a suffocating kiss that I forced myself to accept.  
  
Even so, I wormed my arms underneath his and around his waist. It was odd, but I needed to do this for my plan to work. After suffering a few more tortuously long kisses and his wandering hands, I had finally accomplished my goal. He seemed about ready to start removing clothing when it happened-the cold blade of the Masamune skewered him, and because of the force, me as well. While he had been fooling around, I had slipped the sword from his sheath and drove it through his lower back, out his stomach, into my stomach, out of my lower back, and into the wall behind me, cutting my fingers open on the blade in the process.  
  
Sephiroth made a couple low noises that signified his shock. "Y-you..." Squeezing the blade again, slicing more deeply into my fingers, I winced as I slid the sword out of the two of us and dropped it to the floor. He didn't even bother with me once he was free; his hands were holding his stomach as he stumbled backwards. Fiddling with a dresser drawer, I watched him retrieve a potion. Oh no... The situation was not looking good.  
  
He drank it, his wound healing almost immediately. Then, he grabbed another and came to me. Rather than giving it to me, he took a seat back on the edge of the bed. His voice was quiet, and emotion was exempt from it when he then said, "I think I'll watch you bleed a while..."  
  
I had, during his actions, slumped down onto the floor, holding one hand over the wound. I tried my hardest not to pass out as the blood continued to flow out of my body at a rate that never slowed. It was strange though-Sephiroth's sentence. His voice had been so flat and lifeless, and there was no expression of psychotic joy on his face. I wondered why he seemed different now.  
  
Looking down at the messy hole in my stomach, I noticed my vision begin to go dull. My head felt like it was a million miles away, too. I knew I couldn't keep conscious much longer. And if I passed out... what would he do to me...?  
  
I kept my eyes locked onto Sephiroth as I slipped down onto my side, lying on the floor. I distrusted him more than anyone, but I couldn't stop it... I was blacking out again. 


	10. Chapter 10

This chapter really goes together with the next; I would suggest not reading this one until you also have the time to read the next. I'd rather have made the two chapters as one, but that's not how it turned out.  
This, chapter 10, is really where the turning point in the story begins. There's a lot of emotion in here, and some more hints at mature content. Well, if you made it past the last chapter, you shouldn't have to worry about anything.  
  
^^; Read on, and enjoy.  
  
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Back in my room, no doubt. I was half-asleep, lying in the center of the floor. Finally, I awoke enough to open my eyes and gaze at the ceiling. Then, I quickly looked down at myself, examining my situation. I appeared to be healed from the wound that I had inflicted the day before... Sephiroth must have done it.  
  
Sitting upright, I tried to wake myself up fully. Thoughts about the man boiled my blood as I sat there, expecting him to barge in at any moment. He had been calling me his "toy", "puppet", and the like... I was no plaything. It would soon be him who would become my toy, I thought, hopeful for the day I could kill him. I could, and would, mess with his mind until he went completely insane. I wouldn't hold back. It would be for my own good.  
  
Now, I began to formulate an escape plan. My magic ability wasn't even novice, and I was still afraid to attempt to use it. It had worked once, but would it work again? No, I couldn't rely on magic to escape. Sitting up, I then stood, and observed my room. The door and the window. Those were the ways out. I knew exiting through the door would make the escape blatantly obvious, so I crossed it out of my mind. The window then.  
  
I walked to the window and stopped about three feet away from it. I was on the second story... This must've been the first time I had looked out of it. The way down wasn't too far... I would jump. If I did hurt myself on the fall, I could seek help. At least I would be free.  
  
My mind made up, I stepped to the pane and placed my hands on the glass, pushing it open so that a fresh breeze greeted my face. Dropping my hands to my sides, I hesitated a moment... Sephiroth still had my Satsu-Masamune. No matter, I supposed. I wanted it, and I could take it back when I returned with more power. I wasn't going to let him keep it for himself.  
  
I put my hands on the windowsill and was about to hoist myself up when the worst happened--Sephiroth fell from above, his hand grasping the top of the window and his feet resting on the outer pane. He wore only his coat, pants, and boots, no armor or anything else. How had he known...? It didn't matter; he was there now.  
  
I didn't notice the Masamune in his hand until he had sent the point forward, piercing my shoulder. Gaping at him, I found no words to say, and stood there. He pulled the blade from me, and I stumbled backwards. Without a word, he tossed the sword inside and away from me on the floor before hopping down into the room.  
  
"Kurai... I told you, you cannot leave yet." Though he came near to me, I kept trying to get away from him, but only managed to back a few feet from the window. I was injured now and he had the advantage. It seemed he was quickly learning how to deal with me. My mind raced wildly, rapidly growing clouded and making it hard to think straight.  
  
Reaching out a hand, he clasped the small buckle that held my coat closed in the front. With a swift jerk, he tore it off and my coat fell loose. Immediately after, he grabbed the collar with both hands and pulled the coat roughly off of me. It fell to the ground behind me. Finally, he gave my injured shoulder a hard shove, and I stumbled back, going down to a knee in pain. I wanted to fight him back, but I was hurting; losing liquid life; and he was moving so quickly that I couldn't keep up with him.  
  
I barely noticed Sephiroth toss his own trench coat aside, as my eyes were locked on the ground and I fought to conceal the pain I felt tearing through my shoulder. My face was blank; I would never let him know that he had hurt me as badly as he had. However, I felt his unyielding grip on my shoulder moments later and I wanted to cry out in agony. His hand was firmly clasped on my shoulder just above the wound. Using this pain to his advantage, he forced me backward to the ground, and on top of my coat. He didn't hesitate to follow, and I soon found him cushioned atop me.  
  
Still, I averted my eyes from him. I couldn't let him connect with me; know the pain and despair I was feeling. He was getting his way. So what...? Finally, I sighed. If this was something I couldn't avoid, I would not fight it... but I would not advocate it, either. My shoulder stung greatly, complicating the situation. If he managed to get away with what he planned... I would torture him like nothing else, dealing the retribution that he would so deserve.  
  
It was an awkward moment; I could feel Sephiroth's icy glare locked onto me for the longest time, but refused to look back at him. He made no further move. Could this be the turning point? I had noticed a slow but steady change in his behavior recently. This event only gave fuel to my thoughts. Why did he hesitate? Didn't he finally have what he wanted? He would do as he pleased with me, and I would be discarded to wander back to Hojo. That was his plan... though it was full of flaws. Still, why did he not continue to carry it out...?  
  
"What..." Sephiroth mumbled. Now, he had my attention, and I looked up to him without thinking. It didn't matter though; he didn't seem to care. "What... am I *doing*...?" Had he just said what I thought he had? He questioned himself then... But why?  
  
A pensive look came over his face, and he pushed himself up and off of me. I didn't get up immediately, but waited to see what he would do. Surprised, I watched as he simply walked across the room and slumped down into a chair, an aura of angst about him. 


	11. Chapter 11

The title of the story explained! ^_^ Well, it was already a likely given, but I felt that I had to referance it somewhere in here. And I really like the way I plugged it in.  
  
This is also likely the chapter in which Stephko and I started making the joke that all Kurai ever does is pass out. I mean really. I hadn't intended it to happen so often... but it does. Forgive me v_v;  
  
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"What... is wrong with me...?" I heard Sephiroth mumble, probably to himself, from his seat. I was now sitting up, but still on the floor, shoulder never ceasing its leak of my crimson soul. I kept a hand over the wound, and my eyes on him.  
  
"What *is* wrong with you?" I inquired, beginning to feel dizzy from my loss of blood.  
  
He turned to me, and I felt a darker presence in his place than I was used to. So much emotion had been pent up inside the man, but for what? "Kurai..." was all he said, and in a low tone.  
  
I growled. This was enough... I sensed my chance to redeem sweet revenge and return all the anguish he had dealt to me. "I am not Kurai. Don't call me that anymore." My tone was calm, but deadly as daggers. He would surely notice the venom with which I struck.  
  
A dark laugh. Weak, but dark nevertheless, and ominous. "So I may no longer call you Kurai...? A pity. But, if it is what you wish." He sighed, then let his eyes fall upon me. I was probably a sorry sight. "What shall I call you then? Sephi-chan?" With this final suggestion, he let out another poisonous laugh, and I cringed.  
  
Finally managing to stand was a task, but I did it. My injured arm hung uselessly at my side, blood running down my skin in small trickles; tickling my arm. But I wasn't done. I hobbled to the chair my captor now sat in, his eyes watching me cautiously. My facial expression surely burned with anger. "I could... leave right now..." I huffed. I now stood before the chair. "You're being a fool, and I could... just go..."  
  
"But you won't," Sephiroth snapped. He seemed agitated as he stood up, glaring at me. "Because I know you, and I know myself." I stared indignantly at him for a moment, not sure how to respond to him. I very well felt that I could just leave... only my injury prevented me from being able to travel. "So, what are you going to do? The moment of truth has arrived... will you seek revenge?"  
  
"Why are you acting like this?!" I finally burst. Perhaps I had not gone through enough living to understand why he had grown to be so different. When I saw the expression of confusion he showed me, I struck again, trying to make him comprehend my frustration so I could get a straight answer. "You aren't like you were before. Why have you changed?"  
  
Smirking, he placidly took my chin in his hand and leaned his face near to mine. "Oh, so you liked being tied to the wall...? ...because I wouldn't mind doing that again." He released my chin and stepped back a bit. "Of course, I thought you would prefer to move around." He pushed his chair up to the table it had previously been facing.  
  
What on the Planet was he talking about? This was a different man than I had seen before... Nothing that he said made any sense at all to me. I couldn't comprehend it. I took several angry steps towards the door before Sephiroth's voice stopped me. "So you'll leave. Where will you go?" I remained silent and still. "You never thought of that, did you?" I heard his footsteps, and knew he was coming closer to me. "Back to Hojo? Back to the lab?"  
  
"Where else am I to go...?" I sighed, feeling defeated. "I *will* go back to him. He'll help me kill you, and I'll find shelter at Shinra."  
  
This made Sephiroth laugh. However, he shortly stopped and angrily wheeled me around to face him. "I didn't think I was this foolish. So say you kill me. Say you go back. What do you think Hojo will do to you? Certainly not welcome you! If he wants *me* dead... and *you* run back to his arms like a little blind sheep..."  
  
This had never crossed my mind. No... would he really? If I went back... would Hojo kill me? What Sephiroth said made perfect sense though, and I was inclined to believe it. So I would die if I returned... but what else did I know of life?  
  
I turned away from him and took another step for the door, knowing that I had no plan in the back of my head, no where to go. But now my body was done. The blood loss had been too much, even though I had fought it. My legs buckled suddenly; I felt as though my feet weren't even on the ground. I stumbled... and fell. I hit the ground hard, just a few feet from the door. There was no will in my mind or strength in my bones to get back up. Out of the corners of my eyes, I watched Sephiroth make his way around me and leave the room. 


	12. Chapter 12

This chapter may at first seem like a stretch of character, but I really tried. ^^;  
Not much to note on this one... there's a little blood and stuff, but nothing really bad in here.  
  
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I hadn't passed out this time... but the events that took place were blurry in my head. Sephiroth had been gone from the room only a few minutes... But he did come back, and he carried me out of there. It was odd. My thoughts were jumbled up; as quickly as I observed what happened I found myself forgetting.  
  
I soon realized that I lied on the soft, white-sheeted bed of the small room I had been in not long before. That was where I fully snapped back to reality. My captor stood there, against the wall, watching me. He still wore what he had worn before, only the Masamune was once again sheathed and his trench coat was back on. Instantly remembering my situation, I moved a hand to my shoulder. There was blood on it, as before, only my wound had healed.  
  
Beginning to feel a bit awkward (as Sephiroth had only been looking at me this whole time while I took in my surroundings), I glared at him, then huffed, "Stop helping me... I don't need it." My words contradicted my actual feelings, but I could not accept aid from my adversary... even if he now treated me better.  
  
"Feh." Much to my surprise, he drew his sword. "Suit yourself." The point of the sword flew down at me. I felt it pierce my shoulder and reopen the wound. I cried out by mistake... but he had taken me by surprise. The injury hurt even more than it had originally. "That's what your pride will get you." Sephiroth sheathed the sword and towered over me from the side of the bed.  
  
"No m-more pride than..." I gritted my teeth. "...than y-you have..." My hand found the punctured spot and covered it as blood spilled out again, soaking a portion of the sheets beneath me.  
  
"And you never stop..." Sephiroth crawled onto the bed from where he stood. He quickly grasped the wrist of the hand I used to cradle my wound and moved it, soon after placing his own hand on my shoulder near it. He applied pressure, making it sting and holding me against the mattress.  
  
"Let go... You're hurting me," I growled, determined to get him away from me whether or not he knew I was in pain. He baffled me; was he turning back to the way he had treated me before?  
  
He apparently ignored me. I felt his other hand hold onto my opposite shoulder, forcefully pinning it as well. Leaning his face near mine, he whispered, "Forgive me." Primarily, his words worried me. Then... he closed his eyes and put his lips to mine. This time, something seemed different. He was gentle... delicate. My mind raced, and I could feel my face flush. What was this...?  
  
He pulled away from me a little and eased his grip on my shoulders, but didn't move his hands. "Don't return to Hojo," he advised quietly. "Stay here."  
  
The expression I observed on his face was indescribable; I had never seen it before... worry, concern... I couldn't speak to him; I couldn't move; I couldn't react. What had he done to me? He had made me feel something... some emotion... "Sephiroth..." I muttered. The pain in my shoulder had almost been entirely forgotten.  
  
He sat up and slipped off the bed. "I don't know what's wrong with me... but something about you... I..." I leaned forward and into a sitting position, then stared at him. I could hardly believe he was acting such a way. "...I feel I'm going to be unrequited." I shook my head at him, still feeling a sort of shock in me. He let a strange smile cross his face. "You... aren't me; I mean, not a perfect clone... so it's not wrong, is it?"  
  
He reached out a hand and took mine, the gloved hand that I had had covering my wound. Some of the fresh blood smeared onto his fingers, but he didn't seem to mind. Kneeling down beside the bed, he kept hold of my hand but refrained from looking at me, a pensive expression on his face. "I... don't have any more Potions..." 


	13. Chapter 13

Again, this is a chapter that really goes together with the next one. I would advise only reading this one if you have time to read the next as well. This time, reading them together isn't as important as before, but it would likely make more sense to do so. ^^;  
  
Much stream-of-consciousness in here; a whole lot of thinking on the part of Kurai.  
  
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Sephiroth had left the mansion to acquire a fresh supply of Potions. We both knew that it was a bad idea; the townsfolk feared him and Shinra hunted him. He didn't let that stand in the way, however, and had left me alone, bleeding on the bed, to my idle pondering.  
  
Everything that had just happened... it had been a rush. That man confused me to no end, but perhaps I did the same to him. It was all I could imagine. We were one another in mind, so it was quite possible that the both of us were going insane, and taking one another down as well. I was sure that Sephiroth was just as lost as I was in the emotions department.  
  
But... emotions... Before, he had brought something up inside me. This worried me. It was a new feeling-I had discovered something new again. It made me oddly content, yet the idea of such a thing *did* worry me. And I couldn't let it take my mind away from Sephiroth. He was unpredictable. I had no idea what his next move may be.  
  
Now what, though? I couldn't go back to Hojo; there was no way I could convince myself that such a thing would be okay after thinking on it. The things that man had told me, and the things buried within my dormant mind-those were the only things I knew about living. Should I stay at the mansion, then, as Sephiroth had requested? He still made me nervous... and I couldn't make up my mind.  
  
Finally, before my thinking drove me to the point of screaming, Sephiroth returned, entering the room silently. He tossed a Potion to me almost immediately, then took a seat at the end of the bed, his back to me.  
  
Of course, I drank the Potion, and breathed a sigh of relief when I felt my wound heal again. But my mind still tumbled questions of the angst-filled man about. Why had he changed...? I still wanted to know, but felt that he would only tell me when he wanted to.  
  
"Kurai... I said I wouldn't call you that, but what else is there?" I sensed no emotion on his voice, and obviously couldn't see his face as he spoke. I watched him shake his head, waves of silver hair shifting with the movement. "No, nothing else. I suppose names are only superficial, anyway. We know *who* we are..."  
  
His mindless babbling was beyond me again. Something had struck him deep, I assumed, or he wouldn't go on like that. I decided to put an end to it. "Sephiroth. Tell me what's made you change." There was no answer... only a long, deep silence. I waited for several minutes, wondering what he was doing.  
  
Then the oddest thing happened. I felt something within my mind break, something that I had seen happen to him many times over. It was a switch flipped, a fuse broken. I lashed out at the back of his head, catching a fist-full of his own silky hair and tugging it backward towards me. He had no choice but to lean back and into it. Was this the flash of insanity that I had so seen in him...?  
  
"Tell me," I growled.  
  
His eyes stayed away from mine as he sighed and spoke up. "I don't know what I'm going through. Recently... before I met you, even, I've felt that I'm losing my mind... Learning what I really am. Finding out my life is a joke. Only Mother can redeem me..." His eyes gazed off, transfixed, and I watched him with no words. Finally, I made my grip on his locks loose, and he sat up straight before turning around to me. "Don't you feel the same...? Only yours is going faster. Things confuse you... and you get frustrated. Your mind is giving in." He leaned toward me, watching my expression, no doubt.  
  
His words were truth. It was exactly as I felt... how I felt. I had been created with a feeble mind, and every day that I lived, every bit of knowledge that I learned, pressured me even more. I didn't know what to say to him after that... he had touched the very core of my being.  
  
I felt him place a hand on my cheek, but couldn't tear my eyes from his face. It had shocked me... Of course, I had known how alike we were, but to have him sum up my feelings, my thoughts, in such simple words was unbelievable to me. Still, lingering in the back of my mind burned a hatred for this man, despite the dissimilar then racing through my head. "You're... evil." The words slipped dangerously out of my mouth before I realized it.  
  
Sephiroth only gave me a blank look, certainly confused with me. Something about the expression angered me even more. I didn't even know what I was doing; my meager mind was controlling me again against my will. "Sephiroth!" I lunged at him, knocking him off the bed and falling as well, landing hard on the floor. Moving quickly, I tore the Masamune furiously from its sheath at his side. 


	14. Chapter 14

Violence, a little. More than anything, this chapter has a bunch of insanity to it... Random craziness.  
That can be a good thing, if you look at it the right way. ^^;; Personally, I think it fits the characters.  
  
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Something had gotten into me; something wild and unfamiliar; something wicked and full of rage. Of course, I had my pent-up anger ebbing away in the depths of my soul, but it had returned, powerfully, vengefully. I then did something I didn't want to do. Once I had done it, I was shocked. Once I had done it, that boiling fury again grew distant. Once I had done it, I immediately regretted it, for reasons unbeknownst to me. There was now an oozing wound, leaking crimson, on the right side of Sephiroth's chest.  
  
Not believing my own actions, my fingers numbly released the Masamune, and it hit the floor, making the only noise that would be heard in that long moment. Neither of us seemed to trust the reality of the situation. But before long, the demon side of me took control again.  
  
"You..." I was on him in seconds, pinning him to the floor. A slight trace of pain gleamed in his eyes, but other than that, he retained all the emotion he could from me. Securing his arms to the hard wood with my hands, I soon found myself kissing the torn flesh of his chest. As I did so, I felt his muscles tense, so I backed away. "You'll suffer as I have..." Letting go of him entirely, I stood up and wiped his blood from my face with a hand.  
  
By this time, I was back to myself, strongly fighting the plague of festering anger within me. However, even in this mood, I felt like I should leave him on his own; he had done so many of the same things to me, and it would only be fitting. "Killed by your own sword," I scoffed.  
  
At this point, I became aware that he realized I didn't intend on helping him. His eyes, filling with pain and slightly with tears because of it, pierced my hard shell and I found that I was fighting myself inside. He deserved this! It wasn't even full compensation for everything he had done to me. But I knew how badly it felt to have body and spirit broken in such a way, and wanted badly to take it back.  
  
Finally changing my mind, I went to the dresser and retrieved a Potion. I knelt down beside him, actually half lying on the ground, and offered the open bottle to him. When he turned his head away from me, I was a little taken aback.  
  
"I... won't take... your help," he uttered. I could tell he was straining for breath.  
  
Not bothering to reply, I had ideas of my own. Rather than forcing the liquid down his throat, I poured a good amount into my own mouth. It was only then I noticed how foul the liquid tasted... but perhaps it was because I had no wound. Using a firm grip on his chin to tip his face toward me, I leaned over him, then locked my lips with his. I would refuse to stop until he had allowed the Potion into his own mouth, and had swallowed it. Surprisingly, he resisted not at all, and the task was quickly finished. I left him on the floor and climbed back onto the bed in a sitting position, reflecting.  
  
Why had I been so fickle? One moment, even after the demon side was gone, I had been bent on watching him die before me... but then, in only seconds, my feelings changed and I had given him aid. I felt myself breaking down. Starring at the bed sheets in a trance, my mind wandered and began to contemplate what else I didn't know about my emotions.  
  
"What's the matter?" an empty voice asked me. I dared not look up at him. Apparently, he didn't seem to notice I wanted him to leave. "You're crying."  
  
Was I really...? I touched my cheek with my fingertips and felt drops--tears that had been rolling down my skin. This was something I couldn't understand. I hadn't even noticed this before he told me.  
  
Now I looked to Sephiroth, who was by the wall near the door; my eyes were slightly clouded over, and I found that I couldn't bring myself to speak. What did he think of me now? Would he realize my act was out of madness, or would he be angry?  
  
A smirk. "I saw Mother in you. Merciless and powerful." He shook his head, and opened the door to leave. "You did save my life. While I am grateful, I'm also shamed by my weakness." His final words. He exited the room sullenly. 


	15. Chapter 15

By popular demand, chapter 15! A perhaps-long-awaited event is in here! (But you guys saw it coming.)  
  
^^; The thoughts of Kurai in this chapter may be difficult to understand. I wanted to capture her feelings without coming out and saying everything while doing so--if there's anything you don't understand, feel free to post it in a review, or email me.  
  
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I found the new freedom of being able to meander about the mansion quite appealing. I made sure to visit every room, each a symbol of something Shinra had done, someone Shinra had killed, someplace Shinra had ruined. In doing this, I learned that the mansion had been abandoned, and Sephiroth had sought its sanctuary to hide from those who might pursue him. When he did so, he had discovered the library downstairs filled with books and journals about Shinra's antics. This is how he had found out about his true origins.  
  
As I learned of the things that had plagued Sephiroth's mind, I began to develop wild ideas and theories of my own. I started taking time to just sit and think; when Sephiroth found me like this, he would simply shake his head. But I was getting used to my mind and the random fits of madness that attacked me more often than before. The world, and myself, was coming together in my head.  
  
My pondering lead me to a curiosity about emotions. The hate that I had once felt for Sephiroth, my tormentor, had slowly faded over time. In its place stood an odd kind of admiration, almost. I couldn't quite decide what the feeling was. This often became the reason for my deep thinking sessions, for I was determined to learn about it. How could I even describe it...? Whenever Sephiroth had to leave the mansion, which was not terribly often, I stood at the doorway, fearing it would be the last time I would see him. Or, I might hear a noise, and suddenly assume Shinra had found him. These wild thoughts even went so far as to plague me in the middle of the night, and I would awaken with a start, wondering where the man was... only to find that he would be asleep in his own bed down the hall. It drove me crazy.  
  
I had always been able to unravel situations before, but this one hung me up. I couldn't determine why I was acting and feeling such a way. I did, however, have an epiphany finally, and found to my shock what was going on in my mind...  
  
"Kurai? Oh, there you are." Sephiroth approached me, a philosopher sitting on a box in the piano room mulling over a portrait on the opposite wall. His words awakened me.  
  
"Huh?" I felt sleepy, and wasn't too anxious to talk.  
  
He partially turned away from me before he spoke, and I sensed a trouble in him. "I'm... thinking about leaving the mansion... I hate being here..."  
  
The declaration of emotion coming from *his* mouth certainly caught me off guard, but then I replayed the words in my mind and leapt to my feet in protest. "You can't!" I immediately realized the tone of my voice was much stronger than intended, and I had surely surprised him.  
  
Sephiroth turned to me, dazed. "'I can't'? Why can't I?" He spoke more of curiosity than of challenge.  
  
I couldn't reply. No words were in my throat. In a fluid movement, I stepped up to him and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, closing my eyes. I had brooded solitarily for long enough... my thoughts were exhausted. There was nothing left for me to think, to say. But I still wanted to take a stand against his declaration, and so embraced him.  
  
To my surprise, he reacted without hesitation, slipping his arms around me. Finally, I felt secure. Almost immediately my mind was erased of all the troubles that had been brewing. At that moment, I knew what I had been feeling so subtly for so long... and I became aware that it was inside Sephiroth's mind as well... it was why he had changed the way he acted, it was why he freed me from my binds to the wall, it was why he couldn't send me back to Hojo... Everything had come together. It was perfect.  
  
"Shinra will..." I finally found the courage to say something, but only two words. He knew what I meant.  
  
He hushed me; I could feel his arms pull me more tightly to him. "I know... I shouldn't have said such a thing. Forget it." As quickly as my thoughts had vanished, so had his. A small smile found its way onto my face... I knew what happiness was. I knew why life was worth living... At last, I knew.  
  
Sephiroth loosened his grip and guided me to a wall of the room. He roughly pushed my hands to the wood and held them there, my back against it. I had come to realize that he wasn't trying to be violent; these actions were just out of his nature, my nature. I no longer felt awkward about such a situation, in fact, I enjoyed it.  
  
Indescribable emotion rushed through me, and I swiftly leaned towards him and pressed my lips against his. I knew not what was guiding me, but finally, it felt right. I could feel his tongue meander into my mouth as he passionately deepened the kiss. So this is what he had been waiting for. This was why he had acted so restrained before. He was afraid I would not show him the feelings he wanted to see. But now it was fine; he felt release, as I felt comfort. The kiss was as any kiss is; it ended shortly, but we lingered there quite a while, together in silence.  
  
That night, Sephiroth sat beside my bed until I fell asleep, exchanging small words with me. We had discovered something, let something go, and we could only do what our minds told us to. We had no direction, but were following pure feelings. His presence near me was relaxing and sweet. There was, however, a small fear in my mind that my insanity would keep progressing, and I would end up severely hurting him again... Looking at him there, in the half-darkness, I knew I couldn't let myself do anything of the sort. My mind was going still; Sephiroth's change hadn't cured him *or* me. But the contentment that I had when I was with him then... I couldn't risk losing it. 


	16. Chapter 16

Seems like a chapter of pointless fluff to me. But I wouldn't have written it if it didn't need to be here! ^^;  
  
Bear with me... it may be slow and a little obscure, but the story is almost over. Enjoy it while you can   
  
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Sephiroth and I had begun to spend much time together. There was something between us now, something that allowed us to relax and end our suspicions of one another. I would no longer try to kill him; such a thing would be asinine. In a sense, we had subconsciously drawn up a peace treaty. Neither of us even thought of intentionally harming the other. Near perfection. A barrier had been shattered during the time I'd been at the mansion, and it was a good thing, too. Sephiroth helped me learn how to live.  
  
It was for a couple months that this comfort existed. Our feelings grew for one another... and I began to forget about the outside world, wanting nothing more than to stay in Nibelheim forever. It was my foolishness getting carried away with fantasies, I knew, but the thought was still pleasing. In any case, I assumed that I wouldn't have too much time left in which I would be reasonably sane. My sudden craze fits were occurring so often then... I only tried to keep myself away from Sephiroth when I grew this way.  
  
Still, despite the turmoil within me, I loved every moment from then on that I stayed in the mansion. It was bliss.  
  
"It's strange," Sephiroth stated, his back to me. I stood in the research area of the downstairs, listening. I had gone down there to have a better look at some of the reports that interested me. Sephiroth had followed, and now it seemed I was to hear his deep thoughts.  
  
"Hn?" I crossed my arms, waiting to hear what he would say.  
  
He turned and began to walk around the room. I let my eyes follow him, but didn't move to see when he was behind me. "...that you are me. I've seen it. I know. At first, you didn't seem that much like myself. But as things went on... I started to recognize myself... and Mother." I became aware that he was close behind me, and then felt the backs of his fingers against the side of my neck. He had taken off his gloves.  
  
"So what do you think of it?" I closed my eyes, trying to concentrate on the topic, trying to hone my feelings. "I am you, mostly. But with the both of us here... I feel like I'm just a copy, perhaps a burden." I had to stop talking; this delving into my thoughts was difficult. I wasn't even my own person... but a pre-made brain in a similar body.  
  
Sephiroth snickered. My eyes opened halfway, wondering what he was thinking about. "You're not. Not at all." He put his hands on my arms, then slowly slid them down the sleeves of my coat until he reached my hands. Next, he held onto my hands and crossed his arms (crossing mine as well) over my stomach. Hid body was warm, and I leaned back against him. "I've never had anything like this before," he stated quietly, a voice by my ear.  
  
I managed to worm my hands out of his and turn around to face him. His face, blank, as usual, as I looked at him. "I know what you mean." Looking down at my arms, I tugged off my own gloves and placed my hands on his either side of his jawbone. Right away, I tipped my head up and pulled him toward me, bringing his soft lips to mine. This enraptured me; the delicacy with which he responded. When I pulled back, I immediately took my right hand back, made a fist, and thrust it into his stomach. I had forgotten my power. He coughed and took his arms from me, holding his own stomach with his hands.  
  
"Sorry... but I owed that to you," I explained with a stone face.  
  
This made his expression lighten, and he smirked. "Indeed."  
  
It had taken time, but we finally accepted one another. Our feelings were mutual, and I was very glad. However, something made me wonder about this. If he hadn't begun to show an attraction to me, would I have changed toward him anyway? It was something to think about, and became one of the things I pondered often. I didn't worry with it too terribly much though, because I lived in the present. I had grown to understand the value of life. 


	17. Chapter 17

Yes, this is the final chapter. (Well, not if you count the epilogue ^^*)  
  
Anyway. Pay *close* attention to the details in here... that's my advice for the chapter. As usual, hit me with any and all questions. ^_^ I'm happy to answer them.  
  
I am going to wait a little bit before posting the epilogue after this. Yes, I like suspense. And, well... I just don't want to rush things. ^^;  
  
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Isn't it better to die while you're ahead than to die alone?  
  
Such a question had been processed through my mind for the longest time. I had only just been born, and now, I was contemplating death. If my demise were to come during the time I was with Sephiroth, I wouldn't have protested. Of course, it would be hard on him, but for me... at least I would pass with comfort.  
  
This topic arose one morning when I had awoken with a start. Wearing only a loose black shirt and pants, I ran out of my room to find Sephiroth. He was in the basement library, and by the time I got down there I was out of breath. He greeted me with a curious look, a book in his hands. He didn't exactly seem thrilled to be interrupted.  
  
"I... have to talk to you," I gasped, before I finally caught my breath and approached him. Slowly, eyes never moving from me, he shut the book but still held onto it.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"We have to do something. Shinra's on their way and..." I had to stop. What came next drove a spike through my heart; it hurt me so badly to think of it. Sephiroth said nothing, waiting for me to finish. "They'll come in huge numbers. They'll burn the mansion down... fight us with no mercy... and drag us outside. You'll be killed," I groaned. "They'll kill you!"  
  
"Shut up!" he ordered fiercely. Now, he dropped the book carelessly onto the floor. "I can't be killed by *them.*" He grabbed my arm, twisting it painfully behind my back before I realized it, and slammed me front-first into the edge of the bookcase. "How do you know, anyway?" he hissed vehemently.  
  
"It was in a dream... vivid." It had been so indeed. Hojo had managed to magically restrain Sephiroth with the help of some SOLDIERs, and had then allowed a carrot-haired man to drive his own sword through him. I had been restrained in the same way, but forced to watch, tears all the while streaming down my face in appalled silence.  
  
"A dream." He scoffed. I fought against him so he would let go of my arm, but the pain only grew worse.  
  
"I've... dreamt only twice in my life. The first... I believe was a vision of the past. And this has to be the future. *Please,* listen to me..."  
  
He untwisted my arm, but kept his grip, using it to turn me around before pulling me to him. "Don't say such things. Shinra cannot kill me."  
  
Looking into those eyes of his then made me ache inside. He really meant what he had said, it was obvious, but the same was true of me. I felt nothing but pity for him... welcoming his own death. Then, one of my crazy ideas came into my head...the last one I would have.  
  
********  
  
This is all there really is to my life. I wanted to record it, so that somewhere, someday, someone will find it amongst the dreary shelves of the basement library in the mansion. I want someone, anywhere, to know of me as a part of Sephiroth's past, in case anything is to come of he and Shinra. Yes, I am only his past. Perhaps, in the lifestream, far down the line, I'll be his future, as well. Things turn out in funny ways sometimes. Just when he and I had found something to live for... I haven't even lived for a year, and in such a short time, I learned everything there was to learn about life.  
  
I hope that my decision will not be in vain, and I hope that Sephiroth will not be angry with me. 


	18. Chapter 18 Epilogue

And now, the Epilogue, and final installment of SephiChan.  
  
I have to say, I've been very pleased with my feedback. And, so you know, this part of the story was written a long time ago--the fiction was completed before I even started posting it on here. So, I didn't write the ending based on reviews/opinions I got.  
  
Still, I hope you accept it how it is. I think certain things are meant to end in certain ways. And this makes sense to me, so I hope it does the same for you.  
  
Don't be fooled with this installment--it's written in third person, so it may be difficult to adjust to after reading the other chapters.  
  
Your feedback on this, and the entire story, is greatly appreciated. Thanks for your dedicated reading! ^_^  
  
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When Sephiroth awoke the next morning, it didn't take him long before he was aware of Kurai's disappearance. He searched the mansion for her, and began to worry… she would never leave of her own accord. Finally, when he looked in the room that had once held her, bound to the wall, he found something.  
  
In the center of the floor lied the Satsu-Masamune, accompanied by a piece of paper that had been torn from one of the research notebooks. It read:  
  
"Sephiroth.  
  
I thank you for everything you've done for me. I experienced so much pain, but also happiness, when I was with you. I would trade it for nothing. I also found a beautiful tranquility whenever you held me, whenever we were together.  
  
And I must protect this comfort that we had.  
  
Long before you found this, I'm sure, I departed from the mansion. I took your masamune, but don't be angry. I left you the Satsu-Masamune in return. I have fled for Midgar, to go back to Shinra. No, I don't seek shelter. I know they will kill me.  
  
At least this will give you some time—if they think you're dead, that is. Please don't let this be in vain. If you come after me, you'll never catch up in time, and Shinra will learn of my lie.  
  
I miss you already. Don't ever forget me."  
  
Kurai had indeed gone back to Shinra. Sephiroth did not follow, as he knew he shouldn't. The whole way there, the poor young woman ached and pained inside, and many times came close to returning to Nibelheim. But she knew better. The deed she would do would give Sephiroth, the one she cared for, more time to live.  
  
When she arrived at Shinra, she was thoroughly questioned. However, with the presentation of Sephiroth's sword, President Shinra almost immediately believed she had killed the man. Midgar rejoiced that day.  
  
Kurai knew what was to come, and she didn't play along. As soon as it was "proven" that Sephiroth was dead, she approached the president and told him to hurry and kill her, that she had violent tendencies. Reeve sat and watched the scene sadly as the president's own son drove the Masamune through her back—all only an hour after her arrival.  
  
She lied on the ground, bleeding, waiting to die, waiting for the lifestream to take her. All the while she could only think of Sephiroth. She didn't know this suffering of hers would give him two years of freedom—that for two years, Shinra would believe he was dead. But, during those years, he had to leave Nibelheim, for it was full of Shinra spies who would certainly report back to Midgar. So he departed, taking the Satsu-Masamune as his own sword.  
  
When Sephiroth had first found the note and read it, he was absolutely stunned. He sat for several long minutes in the room with the paper clenched in a hand, no longer reading, but staring through the paper to the floor. Finally, when he had allowed the information to sink in, he took up the Satsu-Masamune, and in a fit of anger, stabbed it through the door to the room. Crying out, he repeated the action again and again, all the while weeping.  
  
He had broken. After everything he had already gone through, the loss of his counterpart was the last straw, and he broke. Sephiroth could no longer hold down sanity... His mind went numb, his soul went cold. There was nothing in the world left for him.  
  
Leaving the masamune in Kurai's old room, the grieving man thought of something, and sped to the main hall of the mansion. There, he sat himself upon a crate near the door and waited. Hours passed. Mako eyes gazed transfixed at the door, and with every minute, they expected a ghost to walk through it.  
  
Kurai did not return. 


End file.
